I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
