We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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