Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
