Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
