We won't sleep together?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
