just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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