yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
