i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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