but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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