O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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