this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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