yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
