I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
