We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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