kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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