He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
