Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
