you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
