I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
