Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
