Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We talked him into tasing himself.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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