So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
