Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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