I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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