i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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