I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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