bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
birth control should be required to get into college
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
