I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just want to make out with him forever
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
