well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
