The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
