omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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