Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
