I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
