Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
