How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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