new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Randomize
