Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
