either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
