I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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