Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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