dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
