Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
