I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
