Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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