i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
