i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
