Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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