Your tits are I can't wait for
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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