i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
