The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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