i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
