idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
