Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
