i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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