hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
