I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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